White Men Are Back

It was family movie nite on Saturday. Well, my daughter refused to join us, as she is 12 and it would be just too embarrassing to be seen with her parents and older brother. And she had to watch Twilight for the 27th time. I have tried to make it clear to her that I do not want her dating the undead. But, as with most things, she knows I know nothing.

Anyway, we went to see Star Trek. It was great and we recommend it. It was fun, exciting, interesting, and very affirming for white Iowan farm boys. Not only will they still be in charge centuries from now, but the hot women will be even more mysterious and exotic--more colors, more facial types, more...

Don't get me wrong, there do seem to be several women in important positions. There are female students and officers; Spock has a mother; Kirk has a mother; and a green-skinned, red-headed girl takes Ensign Kirk to bed. Lt. Uhura still steams the screen with her boots and mini skirt. She also seems to have some talent with languages and oral stimulation.

James T. Kirk is extremely handsome, bold, strong, and assertive. He is a natural leader raised fatherless on an Iowa farm and the sort of bad boy that attracts all the ladies. His father was a hero and died in battle as his mother was giving birth. He has a swagger, but is vulnerable. You want to have his children and take care of him all at once. My daughter really missed something by not joining us. She did Google the actor, Chris Pine, and I believe I detected a sigh; from both of us.

Despite all the new worlds and cooperative aliens, the Federation still has to rely on American men to get the job done. When the rogue Romulan attacks it is always the steely blue-eyed American boy who becomes a man in the battle. First it is Kirk's father, and then himself. While extremely intelligent, in the end it is always his brute strength that wins that day whether it is hand-to-hand combat after a space jump or proving to Spock who is the better man. He bleeds but does not sweat.

In the end, so the movie shows us, there is something behind that self-assured white male that wants to right the world. If there is a crisis, especially one that needs seat of the pants improvisation and a fist-fight, our man is white and mid-Western. He is Gary Cooper, Clint Eastwood, Kevin Costner, and now Chris Pine.

As Alex Baldwin in the popular sitcom, 30 Rock, reprimands his warring staff,

"I'll tell you who has it the hardest: White Men. We make the unpopular, difficult decisions - the tough choices. We land on the moon and Normandy Beach and they resent us."

So white boys, you are back. You are still needed. There is nothing like you; there is no need to change.

But, I am going to have to change. I have to figure out how to make myself more exotic.